Why Does the Spiritual Path Feel So Lonely?
Whether you’re on a spiritual path or not, spiritual loneliness and the desire to belong is something I hear everywhere. For those navigating spiritual awakening, deep inner work, or psychospiritual transformation — this loneliness can feel particularly profound as old ways of belonging fall away and new community is hard to find.
My teacher Faisal Muqaddam of Diamond Logos teachings relays this story – once there was a king who warned his community that toxic rain was coming for the next 3 days and to save water so they wouldn’t drink the water from the rain.
The people didn’t listen to the king and didn’t save the water. After the rains, the people rejoiced together in their craziness. The water from the rain had made them go crazy. They felt so bad for the king and didn’t know what was wrong with him.
The king had saved water and not drunk from the rain. He was not crazy. Now the king was living in a community of mad folks who didn’t realize they had gone mad. He was so lonely, he went and drank the rain water.
This story – this is our story. We drank the water and who we are is not how we were created. We think that the ones who didn’t drink the water have gone crazy. That what’s normal is what we see.
We have forgotten who we are. We have forgotten our nature.
And the ones who hadn’t forgotten, we deliberately went to forgetfulness out of loneliness. To belong.
Even if it means betraying who we are. Betraying how creation made us. Betraying our soul.
What an incredible and profound loneliness this creates. We may be surrounded yet deeply lonely. Or, as I hear from many on the spiritual path, deeply lonely as we realize the ones around us have forgotten who they are.
Some on the spiritual path say, ‘Why seek belonging at all?’ It’s just another desire of the ego. Some say we are all ultimately one anyway.
There is some truth to it – the desire to belong is co-opted by our egos. If I have this family or friend circle or even spiritual community, I will belong. We seek and search. We’re looking for belonging from people who haven’t found their belonging yet — haven’t remembered who they are yet.
But, let me say a little more. Actually, the real search of belonging is support for our real selves. Our souls. Our souls need support to live what we incarnated for. We need support to actually incarnate in this body and on this planet…as we may not have fully done that yet.
Most of us have organized our lives around protecting the ego rather than supporting our soul. Yes, we have moments or sometimes many moments of feeling we are aligned, in touch with our walk as our souls intended in one or more areas of our lives.
True sangha – community – supports us to walk the path of our souls.
We may or may not find belonging with others. We may come across our soul family. We may even reap the goodness of those connections.
Or maybe we face deep loneliness as we realize that who we surrounded ourselves with are not supporting the walk of our souls or their souls on this planet. That somehow they too have drank the rain water and forgotten their walk. Even if they belong to our soul family. This is the challenge on the spiritual path.
May we feel supported, whether in community or by this universe, to remember who we really are. May we find companions on this path who are earnestly seeking and where we have mutual support for the path of our souls.
If you are walking this path and feel called to explore deeper support — whether through psychospiritual integration mentorship or simply finding your footing on the spiritual journey — I would love to connect. Psychospiritual integration offers a container that supports the soul’s actual journey rather than just managing the ego’s struggles.
I offer a free 20-minute consultation for those curious about this work. Available worldwide.
You are also warmly welcome to join our free Saturday morning meditation circle at Arlington Park in El Cerrito — a small sangha of those seeking presence and connection.
If this reflection resonated, you may also find support in these writings on spiritual awakening, belonging, and psychospiritual integration:
- The Mother Hole — on the unconscious longing to heal the mother and return to the soul
- Is It My Mental Health or a Spiritual Awakening? — on anxiety, awakening, and psychospiritual transformation
- The Pendulum of Awakening — on navigating spiritual expansion, contraction, and integration
- Whispers of the Soul — on reconnecting with inner knowing and the voice of the soul
- 3 Foundational Ingredients for a Safe Spiritual Awakening Journey — grounding support for the spiritual path
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
What is spiritual loneliness?
Spiritual loneliness is the feeling of being disconnected not only from other people, but from deeper meaning, belonging, and sometimes even from ourselves. Many people experience this on the spiritual path as old identities, relationships, or ways of living begin to fall away before new forms of connection are established.
Why can spiritual awakening make us feel lonely?
As we awaken, we often become more sensitive to what feels aligned and what does not. Relationships, environments, or ways of relating that once felt normal may suddenly feel empty, unconscious, or disconnected from our deeper truth. This can create profound loneliness, especially when we feel unseen or unsupported in our inner transformation.
What is the difference between egoic belonging and soul-level belonging?
Egoic belonging often comes from fitting in, gaining approval, or maintaining attachment and identity within a group. Soul-level belonging is different. It supports who we truly are beneath our conditioning and helps us live more honestly, consciously, and fully embodied in our real nature.
What is a spiritual community or sangha?
A true spiritual community, or sangha, is not simply a group of people who share spiritual ideas. It is a space where people genuinely support one another’s growth, embodiment, healing, and connection to truth. Real sangha supports the path of the soul, not just the maintenance of social identity.