The Mother as Soul
Something that we struggle with in varying degrees is the Mother Hole.
You see, originally our mothers were to us the most beautiful and magnificent Goddesses. Their souls love and loved us deeply and gave us their wombs and all the elements from within their bodies to bring us here on this planet. Without the love of her soul, we wouldn’t have been born.
We only saw her soul when we were born. We only saw love of her soul brought us onto this planet. Our love for her was immense.
When We Met Her Wounds
Then consciously, but mostly unconsciously, we started to feel and sense her wounds and traumas. We experienced the effects of her ego structure. Her defense mechanisms were something she cultivated to manage her wounds and traumas (and her Mother Hole).
So, we were not mirrored, not understood, rejected, she wasn’t available, and so much more.
It wasn’t her soul – it was her ego that couldn’t give us what we needed and wanted.
The Ego That Tried to Heal
Our love for her was so great that we cultivated at first the qualities of Being that she needed. This could be love, connection, generosity, peace, or something else.
But often she couldn’t accept what we gave because of her wounding, or even her own Mother Hole.
When she couldn’t receive from us, we cultivated an ego program to help her. This program continually tries to heal her. It aims to give her what she needs or needed. And we failed continuously.
The more we have love in our soul and/or the more she wasn’t there for us, the more we formed an ego that is programmed to try to heal her.
This is the Mother Hole.
Or shall I say the vortex of the Mother Hole where our egos spin endlessly.
Becoming Stuck in the Mother Hole
Whether our mother is still alive or she has passed, we are stuck in the Mother Hole.
In fact, often when our mother passes, we forget who we are and become our mother’s ego structure. We identify with her wounds as our own – her not feeling loved, her betrayals, her shut downs. Most of the time, we don’t realize it. It just feels like who we are.
We don’t realize. What if she too is stuck in the Mother Hole? She is going to her mother’s wounds and traumas and trying to heal her.
Rejecting the Soul
In fact, even if our mother’s soul comes to comfort us, we reject her soul. She offers us who she really was in her love for us.
Yet, we are busy spinning in the vortex of the Mother Hole. We are busy trying to heal her that we do not feel her beauty, richness, her love for us.
Some search for a Divine Goddess to get the elements we didn’t get from our mothers. It can be beautiful and nourishing.
Yet, we can’t transcend the soul love connection with our mothers and the Mother Hole. We are meant to reconnect with the soul of our mothers. We are meant to retrieve our own beloved soul.
Awareness as a Way Out
In fact, we often find ourselves rejecting our own souls. We do this because we are desperately trying to fix the Mother Hole. Our egos can’t do it, yet they are hypnotized.
The next time you find yourself hypnotized in a feeling, like sadness, guilt, grief, etc., ask yourself – is this the Mother Hole? When you become present, even for a moment, you retrieve yourself from the Mother Hole for that moment.
Didn’t feel anything?
The Mother Hole is one of the deepest programs we hold in our unconscious. It keeps our ego intact. It prevents us from living our fulfillment. So, it is well guarded to be kept out of our consciousness.
One of the ways to get out of the program is to become aware of it.
Ask yourself – am I in the Mother Hole or am I in touch with my soul?
Or more simply – am I in Love or out of Love?
A Return to the Soul
Our inner work changes as we retrieve our souls. As we become aware of the Mother Hole, we can start to contact our mother’s soul.
Wishing you the fulfillment of your soul, of Love, of reconnection with the love of your mother’s soul for you. Reach out for psychospiritual integration if you would like support on this journey.