Earlier this year, my job as a psychotherapist had gotten very stressful, with mounting paperwork and tight deadlines. I felt like I needed to continue working at my job, fearing what would happen if I quit — losing my income, would I go homeless? Going homeless had been my recurring stressful thought for over a decade of my life. Fear was certainly running me and I was burning out. I felt there was no out from a job that was not feeling right for me. After all, the jobs out there were pretty much the same as what I was doing.
One night, as I lay in bed, I thought how about I imagine quitting my job as an experiment. Nothing lost, it’s only happening in my mind, right? I was surprised as my body filled with tingles of excitement. Ooh, I thought, I’m going to keep playing with this incredible feeling. But, I couldn’t hold back and quickly announced my decision to quit a job that didn’t feel in alignment with me. I couldn’t believe I was doing this! I had jumped into leaving my security, my source of steady income for this feeling of tingles of excitement. Yes, the level of fear in me rose to terror! That is only partially true. Actually, I cycled between terror and something much bigger. I noticed that I was feeling brighter, more energetic, more courageous about showing up in my authenticity and power, and more open to receiving love and appreciation from my clients and colleagues. My mantra, the question I kept asking myself through this process of cycling was “Am I choosing fear or love?”
From there, things continued to flow. Despite all the feelings of terror, I was gaining confidence in my experiment with choosing Love over fear. I found a perfect subletter for my apartment, went on a 5-6 week retreat with time paid out by my job, and felt like I was taken care of incredibly during this time. What an amazing discovery! I let go of security and letting my fear run me, and found incredible nourishment and joy. Don’t get me wrong – it has been a journey to continually choose Love while feelings of terror have arisen. And, every time I have chosen Love, it has felt like the universe has provided exactly what I needed. Today, my experiment continues as I wait for what Love and this universe will show me next.
What is one place in your life where you are holding yourself back, where you want to choose Love over fear?
Here are the steps to choosing Love in your life:
1. Set an intention of what you want, what kind of change you’d like to see in your life.
2. Imagine having what you want. This means, imagine it, feel it as though it is true right now. How does it feel?
3. Notice the feelings that are holding you back from what you want? Is it fear? Anger? Resentment? Grief?
4. Ask yourself the question ‘Am I choosing Love or another feeling?’. Choose love over the feelings that are holding you back.
Try it as an experiment and see what this loving, amazing universe mirrors back to you!
Leave me a comment about your experience with choosing love or how this article has supported you.