Recently, I came across a picture of mine in my early to mid 20s. I was struck by the picture – it was a time when I was disconnecting from my soul. I knew I was lost. But I hadn’t fully disconnected yet.
Honestly, it was right before I committed suicide – soul suicide. It was right before I made significant life decisions that went against my heart and soul. Something in me powerfully aligned against my soul.
What I needed was someone to sit me down and cry my tears of hurt, of feeling unlovable. To release all the pain I was experiencing.
My experience – the opposite. The ones around me were more wounded than I was pushing me more deeply into despair and disconnection. At least that was the story and it was partly true.
The truth was I was in so much pain and anguish. Even the ones who expressed their love and compassion for me, I couldn’t let them in.
Guidance came as an inner friend to take me to my beloved. The true friend – the messenger of my soul – that I needed showed up.
It took a few years of tumbling before I started to connect and listen to the whisper of my soul.
Gratefully, I started to return to myself. It was a beautiful journey of coming back to my heart and soul and living more in alignment. I spent countless hours seeking in all forms, paths and teachers – embodiment, meditation, psychological processing.
Slowly, my heart opened again.
My motivation – to return again to the nature and home of my soul.
Yet, the journey isn’t so easy. There were places where I was allowed to align with my soul and places where I wasn’t. The places with the deepest wounds and pain…those take time.
So, we begin where we are. Don’t worry – you are not alone. Mostly we disconnect from the wounded parts of ourselves. They are truly intolerable.
The symptoms of it – we aren’t living in presence, we aren’t living in alignment with our souls and we don’t even know it. Maybe it is divine compassion – to numb and dissociate us from our pain and anguish.
It comes at a cost. We aren’t living, though we don’t know it. Deep down, our egos seek to return where they came from – our souls. But, our egos don’t remember the way back to what we lost of ourselves.
Here, spirituality comes in.
We start with one breath, one moment of embodiment, something we are grateful for, a touch of presence. We start to build resilience and inner resources. We feel the buds of flourishing within us.
But actually living….NO! Those deepest wounds, the dead within resist each step of the way. I won’t! Mostly out of our consciousness.
Yet, our souls seem to speak to us in whispers from the distance.
A longing here, a dream in our sleep, even our addictions. Mostly we turn away until we no longer hear the whispers.
It is really difficult being a human on this planet.
For all of us, it is grace or divine intervention that beckons us into seeking ourselves again. Not many of us listen. We don’t numb or dissociate completely from the pain, we use it to align. We are listening to the whispers or the screams of our souls.
One step at a time.
The real journey of this lifetime.
Can you hear the whispering of your soul? What do you need to listen to the whisper?
PS – I offer Psychospiritual Sessions – Listen to the Whispers of your Soul and Return to the Nature of who your Truly are