Outer Calamities and Inner Quandaries


Recent events have me thinking about the fires and hurricanes, calamities of nature. Also, thinking of the masculine and feminine, power and pain that also is coming up to be healed. I’m feeling my heart that seems solid and in some ways being a witness as my own process is taking me into expansion these days. Inner judgments arise because I think I should be feeling more compassion. Because loving ‘should’ look a certain way. Yet, here I am offering what feels truly genuine for me in this moment..this heart, solid and spacious. This is the expression of love in this moment.

And, I watch even those of us who are beautiful and evolving people who are in pain simply because we do not recognize who we are. And, I think about this world as a mirror of our own inner fires, hurricanes, battles among our inner masculine and feminine, etc. There is duality and yet we are being called upon to heal ourselves.

Being one with consciousness is only part of the answer. We have to recognize, honor, love all the parts and pieces within us, including our vulnerabilities and our gifts. We have to recognize our gifts. We have to recognize that each one of us is here to evolve our soul and that soul evolution comes as a package of inner quandaries. And perhaps, we recognize that ultimately, this loving universe is supporting us towards our evolution, though it may not seem that way.

How can we find our way through these quandaries? Recently, as I studied and offered readings of some human design charts, I was struck by the themes that arose and how each person had to learn to navigate their challenges. Some of us are here with the wisdom to understand what’s needed in this world and to guide others towards what’s needed, but only if we’re invited and recognized. Some do not have sustainable energy and cannot fulfill the roles our current economies demand. Some are here to play and experiment in relationships, and yet feel pulled towards commitment nevertheless.

Some have an inner fire and energy to sustain bringing dreams to life, and yet can burn out from pushing too hard. Some are heartbroken when relationships end, are pulled to jump enthusiastically into different experiences, and yet cannot keep agreements in relationships because of lack of sustainable energy and can be burned out if not saying yes to the experiences that feel right. Some are here to bring a lot of new energy and evolution and consequently feel deeply alone and at the same time can need a lot of time alone to integrate our learning so that we can bring forth what is needed in this world.

Although knowing and seeing ourselves reflected doesn’t necessarily take away our soul’s path of evolution and the challenges we are here to master, it can feel like an immense relief to be seen. We can feel freed to be who we truly are rather than trying to fit a picture of what’s “right” or what our belief structures try to impose on us. We can learn to trust our energies, our inner impulses when it’s right or learn to wait until we feel aligned with our impulses before we take any actions.

To me, all this says we can be in a place of love within ourselves. We can heal those inner storms, the winds that tear us apart. We can start to allow our contributions to show up in this world as we listen and bring our presence within to our authentic selves. We can have an impact on the violence and suffering caused by our separation from ourselves.

May we all heal as we return to our unique and specific beauty. May our inner peace and silence be reflected in the world around us. May we contribute our love and awareness as energies that soothe and spread through this world. May all beings be happy, safe, and loved.

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